Erotic is -Are you giving the best of you, or are you giving what’s left of you to your partner when you get home? ~Ester Perel

Boom-huge reality check!

I love Ester Perel.  Who is she? Esther Perel is a Belgian psychotherapist notable for exploring the tension between the need for security (love, belonging and closeness) and the need for freedom (erotic desire, adventure and distance) in human relationships.

If you just realized you are giving your partner what’s left of you, here is how to turn things around!

Create Eroticism:

  • Do you stay an extra hour in the morning with your partner?
  • Do you meet for lunch when you are fresh, rather than for dinner when you are spent?
  • Do you ask yourself: How can I be good for us?
  • Are you having sex that just works, or is it interesting to you both or exciting?
  • Do you make your partner feel tall?
  • Do you make your partner curious?
  • Do you make him/her feel special?

Ester says “we are most interesting to our partners when we are “turned on”… not only sexually but about life.

Do you have a list that turns you on?  Journal: “I turn myself on when”…(or how am I numbing myself out instead?)

I am turned on when (here is my list as an example):

  • I am in nature
  • I listen to music
  • I dance
  • I feel confident
  • I exercise daily
  • I ride my bike

When you do things that turn you on, you are more interesting to your partner.

Another wonderful reason for good “self care” and doing what you love.

And hopefully some of the things  you love are the things they love as well.

Cheers to your health,